Dyl’s Worst Christmas Ever: Beethoven’s Christmas Adventure

Welcome to Dyl’s Worst Christmas Ever. Tis the season to be jolly. So, what the heck am I doing all of this for? Well, because I thought it’d be a fun, unique, interesting way to bring in the holidays. And, here’s the thing. I was right… But also very wrong. And it’s only now, 22 movies deep in the middle of a dog-centric stretch, do I realize that I should’ve played on the 12 days of Christmas thing. It would’ve been more on brand and much easier. Oh well. You live and you learn I guess. Anyways, let’s get to today’s movie, shall we?

It’s actually quite fitting that Beethoven’s Christmas Adventure would come directly after Santa Buddies on this list. They have a lot in common after all. Both are Christmas related entries to dog-centric family franchises that started off semi-beloved but went on for way, way too long. In Beethoven’s case, this is the seventh entry in the series! Seventh! And, like Air Buddies, this has very little to do with the previous movies. I’ve only seen the first two or three movies in the series, but they were nothing like this. Beethoven’s family (both the humans and dogs) are nowhere to be found. And, apparently, Beethoven is a huge movie star who travels around making celebrity appearances. I guess the plot mostly started going in this direction in the last movie. I don’t know. I liked it better when Beethoven was just a big, gross dog who made his owners angry. That’s Beethoven to me. (#NotMyBeethoven) Anyways, Beethoven runs into a Christmas elf who has lost Santa’s magical sack and the titular “Christmas adventure” takes place.

Here’s the thing though. I really don’t have that much to say about the actual movie itself. Compared to a lot of the trash I’ve watched recently, it’s really not all that bad. It sort of felt like your typical Hallmark or Disney Channel Christmas movie. It’s not good by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s not going to offend anyone if you put it on either. There are a couple of cringeworthy scenes, sure. There are plenty of fart jokes. A couple of droll jokes. Some of Kyle Massey’s (AKA Corey from That’s So Raven’s) slapstick doesn’t work. It’s very obvious that the ASPCA gave them a lot of money to get their message across. And, well, there are a couple of talking dogs. But, none of it is going to stick with me for the rest of my life, cursing me with it’s existence like some of these other movies. Heck, even the talking dogs are done much better than in Santa Buddies. I’m glad they actually decided to give their faces just a tad of emotional range.

So, if you’re looking for something to put on this holiday season, you could honestly do a lot worse than Beethoven’s Christmas Adventure. I mean… you could do a lot better too. Actually, do a lot better. Don’t settle for this. Revisit a Christmas favorite. Keep ignoring that this movie even exists. Cool? Cool.

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