Review: The Turning

The Turning (2020)

Director: Floria Sigismondi

Writers: Carey W. Hayes and Chad Hayes

Starring: Mackenzie Davis, Finn Wolfhard, Brooklynn Prince, and Joely Richardson

Plot: A caretaker moves in to a new place to take care of a couple of orphans, but she gets more than she bargains for when she discovers the dark secrets the house holds.

Review: Twist endings are a risky undertaking. They can either make or break your movie. I’ve seen them make a good movie great. But, they can also do the exact opposite. This is a case where the ending does exactly that. With five minutes left, I couldn’t understand where all of the outrage aimed at this movie was coming from. Sure. It wasn’t great, but it was a spooky enough ghost tale. Then, by the time the credits rolled, I was pissed. Fuck this movie. Such a waste of time and effort.

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Review: Underwater

Underwater (2020)

Director: William Eubank

Writers: Brian Duffield and Adam Cozard

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Vincent Cassel, Jessica Henwick, John Gallagher Jr, Mamoudou Athie, and T.J. Miller

Plot: A underwater mining facility is attacked by mysterious deep sea creatures.

January is a crappy month for movies. Usually studios just dump in whatever crap they aren’t confident in, whether they’re afraid that the quality isn’t great or they just don’t think it’ll make money. That’s why we’ve been getting a lot of movies like The Grudge, Like a Boss, and the upcoming Dolittle. Occasionally, a movie breaks out though. There’s usually one a year. 2009’s was Taken. 2017 had Split. Last year had Escape Room. Well, Underwater is 2020’s.

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Review: Like a Boss

Like a Boss (2020)

Director: Miguel Arteta

Writers: Sam Pitman, Adam Cole-Kelly, and Danielle Sanchez-Witzel

Starring: Tiffany Haddish, Rose Byrne, Jennifer Coolidge, Natasha Rothwell, Billy Porter, and Salma Hayek

Plot: A friendship is tested when a large makeup company offers to buy a smaller startup.

Review: Like a Boss is a hard movie to review because it’s so very meh. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with it. It’s not offensive in any way. It’s just one of those movies that’s in front of your eyeballs for an hour and a half and then you never think of it again.

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Review: The Grudge

The Grudge (2020)

Director: Nicolas Pesce

Writers: Nicolas Pesce and Jeff Buhler

Starring: Andrea Risenborough, Demian Bichir, John Cho, Betty Gilpin, Lin Shaye, and Jacki Weaver

Plot: Spirits haunt a policewoman after she enters a cursed house with a violent past.

Someday this version of The Grudge will find itself playing in front of a sleepover of teenage girls who’ve never experienced a horror film. It’ll knock the socks off of that particular audience. But, anyone who’s seen even one horror flick before will leave mostly unimpressed.

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Review: Hustlers

Title: Hustlers

Release Date: September 13, 2019

Director: Lorene Scafaria

Starring: Constance Wu, Jennifer Lopez, Julia Stiles, Keke Palmer, Lili Reinhart, Lizzo, and Cardi B

Review: Ready for a twist? Hustlers, a movie featuring Jennifer Lopez, Keke Palmer, and Cardi B, is actually pretty damn good. I know. I didn’t want to believe it either. I saw the Rotten Tomatoes score and still went in with my arms crossed. There is absolutely no way, right? Nope. It’s like a female GoodFellas with fantastic performances and some really interesting directorial decisions. 

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Review: It Chapter Two

Title: It Chapter Two

Release Date: September 6, 2019

Director: Andy Muschietti

Starring: James McAvoy, Jessica Chastain, Bill Hader, Isaiah Mustafa, Jay Ryan, James Ransone, Andy Bean, and Bill Skarsgard

Review: I will admit it. I was a little nervous going into this one. I absolutely loved the first It, but I knew the second half of the story was the harder one to pull off. And, then, I kept hearing that maybe this one is a bit disappointing. The Rotten Tomatoes score is like 20 points lower than the original. Was one of my most anticipated movies of the year destined to be a letdown despite an amazing cast and a super talented director? Well, I’m here to tell you that the answer is no. I disagree wholeheartedly with anyone saying this movie was substantially worse than the first. While maybe a little campier than the original, I thought this roller coaster ride of a movie was just as fun and cannot wait to do a double feature some day.

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Review: Angel Has Fallen

Title: Angel Has Fallen

Release Date: August 23, 2019

Director: Ric Roman Waugh

Starring: Gerard Butler, Morgan Freeman, Jada Pinkett Smith, Lance Reddick, Tim Blake Nelson, Piper Perabo, Nick Nolte, and Danny Huston

I want to make the easy joke that “this franchise has fallen.” It would be really easy to do and make me sound legit. The only problem is… this franchise was never really all that good to begin with. It started off mediocre and kinda just got shittier with easy subsequent sequel. Seeing how we’re on the third movie in this series now, it’s finally reached the point of no return. This is a bad movie. There’s very little to take away from it. I kinda just feel like I wasted two hours watching it.

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D23 Stuff That Excited This Disney Fan – Day 1

It’s D23 time, dudes. And for someone as obsessed with Disney as I am. That’s kind of a big deal. In the last couple of years, this event just keeps growing and growing (just like the company itself). What used to be a cool place for hardcore fans to show off their obscure Disney cosplay is now as big, if not bigger than, Comic-Con on the news front. With Disney controlling so many big IPs, it’s almost impossible for it not to. I mean… look at what just happened. This is going to be a relatively long post of me freaking out about several topics that are very exciting and it’s DAY ONE. There’s still two more days left of this con. And this isn’t even the big day. (Can’t wait for tomorrow.)

So, strap in. I’m going to just go topic by topic and throw out some opinions. Sorry if it’s just me freaking out about how excited I am. I’m going to try to add more than that. Otherwise, please just humor me a bit. I’m a big fan and I gotta express my interest somewhere. My friends and family can only take so much…

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Review: Ready or Not

Title: Ready or Not

Release Date: August 21, 2019

Directors: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett

Starring: Samara Weaving, Adam Brody, Mark O’Brien, Henry Czerny, and Andie MacDowell

Review: If you have a sick personality like I do, you’re going to love this movie. It’s so original and so funny and dark and demented. I can’t give away much but it’s one of the few movies I’ve seen that actually picked up steam as it went along. I left the theater in such a giddy mood. It gave me exactly what I wanted. I haven’t been this impressed with a horror comedy since The Cabin in the Woods.

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Spider-Man: Very Far From Home – A Rant

Now this is an Avengers level threat indeed. We’re losing our Spider-Man… or at least the MCU is! This is bad news for just about everyone involved. Let’s all work through this together by ranting a bit.

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